A couple of lifetimes ago (yet I’m only 37) my sister and I would sit down and have tea together. I do not recall any of these dates being at my house. Her house was always more tidy than mine. She would boil some water to put in one of her tea pots. The tea pot would be sat on a tray next to two cups with saucers under them. Silver spoons would lay on the saucer, secured by the bottoms of the cups. Honey and lemon were sometimes added on a small plate to the side, or sugar perhaps. She was more honey while I was more sugar. Two or three different types of tea would accompany the array of items. We would talk about our parents, our brother, our children, the husbands, about God, people in our congregation, our childhood. We would laugh. We would snort, then laugh some more. We would yawn. We would have slowed conversation only long enough for one of us to remember a story we had started but not finished. Then we would usually laugh some more. We had jokes no one understood even though she was eight years older than me. She always had overstuffed couches. We both always sat with our legs tucked under us.

We do not have tea together anymore.

We are both still breathing. Sometimes the air burns my throat and I can’t swallow because we no longer have these mid afternoon sit downs.

Today she became a Grandma for the second time. We were in the same room but exchanged just barely more than formalities. There is little point. I have my beliefs and she has hers. We will have separate yet equally as important roles in the lives of her Grandchildren because the bond I have with my nephew has proven to be just as unbreakable as her bond with her son.

I suppose as a reader you are hoping this will be the beginning of a series of revealing stories or rants as to why there isn’t a relationship between us anymore, but alas, dear reader, even I do not have the answer to that. This is one of the parts of my heart I like to ignore because it feels too much hurt.

For now I do know I only have to wait about a year before I can have pretend tea with my beautiful, freshly hatched Great-niece!